Laziness

I have had, and am continuing to have, a very lazy day today. I have done almost nothing productive, and at 9 at night it doesn't look like that's changing. I should probably just give up today as hopeless and get to bed early so I can start tomorrow off right, but since I just woke up from an extended after-dinner nap I don't think I'll be able to eke even that much usefulness out of the next few hours.

I'm trying not to feel too bad about this. In fact, I don't really feel that bad about it in the way you would think, but I feel a little guilty about THAT. So now I'm reminding myself of what I read in Barbara Sher's wonderful book Live The Life You Love (I highly recommend it), that when you don't get things done you have to actively decide not to and own that decision. It really is okay that I didn't do much today. I've been busy (having lots of fun, but still) and I enjoyed the sort of mini-vacation. There's nothing that needed to get done, I have no deadlines tomorrow, and I did tons of laundry last week, so this is really pretty reasonable. Also, tomorrow is the day I've been both dreading and looking forward to for about a week: the day I start training at my new job.

This new job will be my second job, which I really needed to supplement my income so I can relax a little about my potential to both pay rent and eat every day after I graduate. It is a waitressing job, at a chain restaurant, which is good because many restaurants will not hire people without experience as waitstaff, and you really have to start somewhere. So soon I will have that experience, enabling me to get a job at another restaurant somewhere down the road if I continue to need a second one, and to work somewhere where I can make tips (hopefully)! So really, this is a VERY good thing and exactly what I was hoping would happen in my search for a second job.

But I'm nervous. I'm always nervous starting new jobs; I think that's probably pretty natural. I think it's mostly transitioning from the role of an outsider to a part of the team, while learning to do something new and inevitably messing it up at least a little, that makes this so difficult. But I've always had the exact same nerves before and never had a bad experience that warranted them, so I've got to just let it go. Maybe if I go lie in my bed and watch The Office some more I'll be distracted. But I think that's even more likely if I practice guitar for a while.